Adam Sunny Flanders

Many people have been creating “It Gets Better” videos in an attempt to encourage GLBT youth to be strong and maintain hope, specifically due to the recent youth suicides resulting directly from homophobia. I can personally say that it does get better. I was heavily harassed and discriminated against when I was in high school, by both my peers and some teachers. When I came to UMaine, everything was different and it was homphobic individuals who were in the minority. The rainbow Pride Flag is has been flying all week and Coming Out Week begins this Monday. I’ve nearly got my undergraduate degree and I have no doubt things will get even better.

I know what it’s like to want to kill yourself, to have so much internal emotional pain and feel like you can’t talk to anyone about it, or feeling like nothing will change. High school was my world for a short time and I falsely believed it was the world, and always would be. But I was wrong, fortunately. The world is not like that at all. There are opportunities and happiness you should be here to see and be a part of. I’ve been out since middle school, so about 10 years now. I’ve suffered with major depression and I’ve been hospitalized for suicide attempts because I believed something was wrong with me. But I am so glad that I am here today, to be able to write this and tell all of you that it does get better, a lot better. For the first time in American history, we have a president who agrees and wants you to know this…

Just wanted to let you Internet Explorer users know that my design website, Seashore Design, is now compatible with your browser. There was an issue with image alignment with the bubbles, but I replaced the alignment tags with CSS, and that seems to have fixed it. It’s difficult for me to test IE compatibility because I have a MacBook. I’ve verified that it works with all the major browsers. W3schools.com reports every month on browser usage. This is for the month of September 2010:

It seems Firefox is winning the race nowadays, though IE still has one-third of the market. I’m in with the 3.7% that uses Safari as my primary browser. I highly recommend Safari and Chrome. Please let me know if you have any issues viewing Seashore Design or any of my other sites. Thanks!

Yesterday evening countless people across the nation participated in the You Are Loved chalk message project. The purpose is to raise awareness about GLBT suicides and in doing so, help prevent them. As many of you know, at least five gay youth committed suicide in the past month for no other reason other than that they are gay. All of them faced bullying and harassment for being gay.

At UMaine the Counseling Center, Student Affairs, and Wilde Stein organized the campaign on campus and this morning the campus was covered with messages of love, hope, and affirmation for GLBT individuals. I posted some pictures below. You can also learn more about the event here: Bangor Daily News and WABI TV

There’s been four gay youth suicides in the past month. I’m writing this in their memory, and the memory of others like them, because I was almost one of them, and it sickens me that our culture still fosters to the attitudes that allow this to happen.

When I was in high school (Belfast Area High School), the vice principal Bruce Mailloux told me to stop being so gay and suspended me for a week for wearing a gay pride t-shirt. I was harassed every day – a group of guys used to hang outside the lunchroom and as I passed, they’d yell, “Faggot!” “Asspacker!” “You’re going to Hell!” and a whole lot more. It was literally every day and a lot more. Things were written in my locker and when I got a lock people stuck hateful notes in my locker. The bathroom stalls were littered with statements like, “Adam Flanders is a fag.” I got shoved around at times. My humanities teacher Ms. Verney told me that my being gay (I came out in 8th grade middle school) was just a phase and that same-sex couples were incapable of true love and affection – she even incorporated it into an exam question, which I obviously answered “wrong,” though now I know it is she who is wrong. When my French teacher, Lila Nation, witnessed another student call me a fag, she said to me, “What do you expect? They hate you.”

These kinds of people need to be held accountable, and ever since my junior year of high school, I’ve been doing my best to make sure they don’t get away with this shit: you can visit my Activism page here. I know what it’s like to want to kill myself for being gay. During high school I attempted suicide for that reason and the harassment I experienced in high school and elsewhere in life exacerbated my depression and anxiety, something I still deal with today. We often forget the impact such statements can have on people, let alone teenagers just beginning to establish their identity. I have absolutely no tolerance for homophobia and neither should our society. Kids as young as 13 are killing themselves, and just as horrible, their peers are killing them as well, and I don’t mean that figuratively.

Two years ago, 15-year-old Lawrence King (California) was shot and killed by his 14-year-old classmate. Why? Because Lawrence was gay. More recently 11-year-old Tyler Wilson (Ohio) was bullied so badly that his arm was broken, just because his classmates perceived him to be gay because he is a cheerleader. And now there’s been at least four suicides in just the past month alone!

13-year-old Seth Walsh (California) hung himself. 13-year-old Asher Brown (Texas) shot himself. 15-year-old Billy Lucas (Indiana) hung himself. 18-year-old Tyler Clementi (New Jersey) jumped off a bridge after his college roommate outed him. Living right on the coast in Belfast, Maine, I had several times considered similar action on our bridge spanning the Passagassawakeag River, the bridge I had to cross every day to get to school.

Ellen, just as heartbroken as the rest of us, has offered an important message about gay youth, tolerance, and what we can do to help:

We have sick individuals in this world promoting homophobia. Michigan’s Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell has been publicly and unashamedly harassing out University of Michigan student Chris Armstrong. Mr. Shirvell should be fired and I wish he could be criminally charged. He’s in company with an unfortunately long list of hateful people that includes a number of politicians and other public figures. 50 Cent recently Tweeted that gay men should kill themselves to make the world better. The Republican gubernatorial candidate here in Maine, Paul LePage, who recently stated that Obama can “go to Hell,” has also committed himself to overturning the anti-discrimination law that I helped pass in 2005 – a law that makes it illegal to discriminate against Mainers based on sexual orientation, in all major aspects of life such as education and employment. Then there is the Catholic Diocese, the Christian Civic League of Maine (which has specifically targeted me as well as other gay youth), and countless others. These people have no place in our society, no voice, and their time is ending.

If you have ever made a homophobic comment or believe it’s a “sin” to be gay, or maybe just passively allowed others to get away with anti-gay harassment and discrimination, I’m pointing my finger at YOU! These kids who died needlessly – their blood is on YOUR hands, you who promote intolerance, you bigots of the world who fear anything different from your own narrow definition of the world. You should be afraid, but not of the gay youth you killed, but rather people like me, the survivors – we remember what you did, what you continue to do, and we’re making sure everyone else knows. The end is near for homophobia and its proponents.

A Supreme Court ruling in favor of same-sex marriage is right around the corner. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell will be repealed any day. Both the Federal Employee Non-Discrimination Act and the Student Non-Discrimination Act have approval in the House and it won’t be long before they become a reality. Obama already signed into law the Matthew Shepard Act, making it a Federal Hate Crime to target someone because they are gay. Earlier this year President Obama issued a presidential proclamation declaring the month of June to be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Pride Month. We have the overwhelming support of countless celebrities, artists, and the media as a whole. The tides are turning.

I just wish it would happen faster. For individuals like Lawrence, the change came too late. I want to thank my family, especially my mom, for always being here for me and making sure I always knew that I was loved. When I came out way back in 8th grade, she told me that she and my dad and everyone else in our immediate family love me no matter what. Sure enough, all three of my grandparents assured me they didn’t care who I loved. Even my great-grandfather, who was over 90 at the time, understood that a person’s character has nothing to do with who they love. I believe that kept me alive, and it breaks my heart to say this may be a rarity among parents of GLBT youth. Today my parents often attend Pride with me, and my little sister sometimes comes along as well. I am incredibly fortunate and grateful for all of them.

Why do some people feel the need to harbor hate, to encourage it in future generations? Why do some fear something that has no effect on their life? For years I have tried to put myself in the shoes of those who yell “faggot” or work tirelessly to deny me equal rights and I have yet to understand what manifests this sort of attitude. It needs to end. It will end. It is ending, albeit one small step at a time. Words do hurt. Sometimes “sticks and stones” are the least of our concerns. Parents – the attitudes and values you pass on to your children have a profound influence on their attitudes and values, and makes the difference between a child being friendly and understanding, or bringing a gun to school and shooting their 15-year-old classmate in the head. While the hearts of millions of Americans are breaking, I hope those of you who practice intolerance at least learn from the past month. This is an opportunity to walk a new path that won’t make you an accomplice to these tragedies. And it’s also a warning.

I’ve been so busy with school lately, I haven’t had much time to blog. Plus, I’m working two jobs part-time and helping plan for Coming Out Week at UMaine! My family and I went on the annual National Audobon Society trip this weekend, out of Bar Harbor, Maine. The boat left at 5:30 AM so we had to get up super early. We didn’t see any whales, but there were dolphins, which I filmed (see below). I posted some pictures in my Flickr account as well, so check ’em out.

Over the Summer I created a website for Stockton Springs Community Church. We just published it today! You can check it out by clicking here: SaveOurSteeple.com – I’m really happy with the results and it’s an excellent example of my work. I’m glad to have the opportunity to help them restore their steeple and promote their community spiritual offerings. If you haven’t already, please check out my company website, SeashoreDesign.com – there are extensive examples of my web design, graphic design, and editorial photography.

This semester is off to a great start. I haven’t missed a single class yet, despite the everyday 8am classes. I’m currently working on a website for the university lab I work in, studying plant genetics. I’m also working another job campus with GLBT services, something I’ve been part of since I first came here. I can’t believe I’ll be getting my BS in Biology in only 8 months! I still haven’t decided if I’m moving to Florida, California, or out of the US, but I’ve got time. Hope you all had a great Summer!

I just launched Seashore Design today! It is my startup business offering web and graphic design, print media, and even LED signs. I will likely be creating iPhone Apps within a couple months as well. You will also see a preview of my upcoming paleogenetics website. I wanted to finish Seashore Design before school starts on Monday.

I’m excited for the semester to start – my new apartment is awesome and I moved most of my stuff today. I’ll be getting my BS in Biology this coming Spring, and then it’s off to either Florida or California, who knows? I was accepted into Florida Atlantic University and I may pursue my Masters there, but I’m just playing things by ear right now. Anyway, check out my work on seashoredesign.com

I just got my Organic Chemistry textbook (international edition) in the mail today – Essential Organic Chemistry, 2nd Edition, by Paula Yurkanis Bruice. Anyone taking BMB 221 at UMaine will have to have it. UMaine only has new editions, selling at $160. I paid a total of $44, which includes S&H, and my book is identical to the American edition and brand new. The only difference is the front cover has a different illustration and it’s softcover, though I don’t think a hardcover is worth paying FOUR TIMES as much for the book. There is a “warning” on the back of the book that I thought was comical:

“This is a special edition of an established title widely used by colleges and universities throughout the world. Pearson published this exclusive edition for the benefit of students outside the United States and Canada. If you purchased this book within the United States or Canada you should be aware that it has been wrongfully imported without the approval of the Publisher or the Author.”

I had to laugh when I read this disclaimer – nothing but American greed. As far as I’m concerned, international editions are the secret to saving lots of money on textbooks. I have compared the book to the American edition and the content is identical, printed in color on glossy sheets. If you’re fed up with high textbook prices, international editions are the way to go! You can many titles on eBay and lots of other sites, and despite several lawsuits from American textbook companies and the scary-looking warnings on these books, the Supreme Court already ruled that it’s perfectly legal to buy and sell international editions in the United States. See Quality King Distributors Inc., v. L’anza Research International Inc. (1998).

Just watching a movie that came out last year – Make the Yuletide Gay. It’s about two college boys, Gunn and Nathan, who are dating and also roommates. The best part is that Nathan is played by hottie Adamo Ruggiero – I don’t think there’s any cuter boy in the world, hehe – and he’s gay in real life! Some of you will remember Adamo from Degrassi: The Next Generation in which he played the gay teen Marco Del Rossi. Yuletide is really cute so far. The character development is really good, especially when Gunn’s friend Abby finds out Gunn and Nathan are a couple (Gunn is still in the closet to his parents).

When Nathan makes a surprise visit during the holidays, the expected laughs start coming. Just about every gay “insider” joke pops up when you’re least expecting it – Dunn’s mom asking if Nathan minds being on bottom…of the bunk bed, that is, LOL. The parents are totally oblivious to the relationship between their son and Nathan. My parents have always been 100% supportive of me, often coming to Pride, though I hope someday I can find someone just like Nathan and have what he and Dunn have. My love life has been more like Lost & Delirious, or maybe Loving Annabelle. Dont get me started, hehe.

I’m not even half-way through and there’s already been some pretty hot scenes between Adamo and Keith Jordan (Gunn). OMG, Adamo is sooo cute. But anyway, definitely a cute movie so far, and it presents an important message about true love as well, whether between family members or lovers. I stopped to pause the movie ’cause I needed to make sure kitty was inside the house – it’s late and a pack of coyotes just went by our house, howling and whistling like they do. I grabbed the kitty and went out on the porch to listen to them. Sometimes I howl back ^-^

Think the coyotes would let me into their pack if I donned my Max outfit? Speaking of which, it’s nearly time for Halloween again! Ash wants to be Princess Yue from The Last Airbender. I haven’t decided yet – last year I spent a month, in my apartment, sewing together my Max outfit. Then I went to Styxx in Portland with some friends and there was a girl there that was Max, too! Her girlfriend was Carol. They were cute together. I will have to come up with something even more creative this year…

Come this November, let us not forget the words of those who would lead us into the next Holocaust, and the political party that supports them:

“Building a mosque so close to where terrorists killed thousands of Americans would be like putting a Nazi sign next to the Holocaust Memorial Museum.”
~Sarah Palin

“This is an insensitive move on the part of those Muslims who want to build that mosque in this location. It feels like a stab in the heart to, collectively, Americans who still have that lingering pain from 9/11.”
~Newt Gingrich

“THEY CAME FIRST for the Communists,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist.

THEN THEY CAME for the trade unionists,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

THEN THEY CAME for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.

THEN THEY CAME for me
and by that time no one was left to speak up.”…